The Significance of The Relationship With the Child
Becoming or being a parent(father or mother) gives an opportunity to express unconditional love to the child – physically, emotionally and in thoughts. It is the GIVING experience. There is no condition on expressing or receiving of the love. The child wholeheartedly accepts and responds to the love. That is the opportunity a child brings by coming in one’s life.The unconditional expression of love by the parent, its acceptance by the child, reciprocation by the child and finally the acceptance by the parent completes a cycle, bringing in a bundle of joy.
Does this whole cycle happen with the pet, yes! it does. Does this happen with the material things? No, it doesn’t.
Consider expanding the same thought to the other close relationships, which we enjoy. These relationships do give an opportunity to express the love, which is accepted, reciprocated and which in turn we accept, all unconditionally. But, there is a significant difference between expressing the love to one’s own child and to a grown up. With the child the love expressed is unconditional, it is a pure joy and a fulfilling experience. The moment of expression is devoid of any thoughts, doubts and conditions. In turn, the child guarantees an unconditional acceptance this love and leads to building a life long relationship. The cycle of expression of love by parent, its acceptance and reciprocation by the child and in turn its acceptance by the parent is complete. This isn’t the same experience and expression with the grownups. In the grownups, it is not guaranteed whether this expression of love is unconditional, and if so, will it be accepted and reciprocated unconditionally? The answer gets revealed only after the relationship gets established over a period of time, with one or both risking their vulnerability for expressing and accepting the unconditional love and it works. All due credit to the human nature and the experience in growing years. By the time one becomes adult, the life experience brings lots of doubts, difference in the ways of expression/acceptance of love, fear of rejection etc…between the two human beings. Note that all these parameters are not there between the parent and the child. The child accepts the love howsoever you express. It doesn’t have the language of love.
So, Love is all about unconditional expression. And the close relationship is all about the cycle of expression of unconditional love, its acceptance, its reciprocation and its acceptance by the 1st person.
The arrival of the child gets us in touch with this human capacity and ability to express unconditional love. The arrival of every new relation in our life also gives us this opportunity, but, with the caveat of vulnerability.
Extending this further, when a beloved departs us, either moving away to a different home, different place or thru death, we miss the opportunity of whole cycle to express unconditional love-its unconditional acceptance and reciprocation and final reception by us. Its broken, either gradually or suddenly. Hence, one goes thru sadness and pain, which is sometimes unbearable. It would take time to settle down by rearranging other relations and filling the void.