The Dragging Feeling of I Could Have Done It Differently!!
After an action/decision is taken and moved on, one gets into an internal conversation saying: “I wish, I could have done it differently”. This conversation is not for the bigger or highly impacted events, but for day-to-day, smaller things like: “I could have taken that bus instead of waiting for auto”, “I could have written the response differently”, “I could have taken a day’s leave”, “I could have eaten curd rice instead of chapati” and so-on.
There is a difference in
1. Learning from our past deeds and adding to our experience.
2. Doing an internal exploration to create greater awareness about ourselves.
3. And dwelling into an almost always, auto conversation of – “Instead, I could have done…”.
While the 1st and 2nd gives an opportunity for learning, self understanding, the 3rd is simply an internal, often automatic conversation. Of course, it doesn’t help to change the past and nor is it helping to change the preset or future, thru learning.
Why does the other option, which was not chosen, becomes relevant and the point of internal conversation(automatic) in retrospect? Often it is an automatic response. By dwelling in the internal conversation of what other thing one could have done, the person
1. is avoiding and not reaping to the fullest, the outcome of the activity that was done/decision that was taken.
2. will be lingering and connected to the past like a rubber band, making the present journey a dragging one than a free flow.
The internal conversation gives an opportunity to the person to say to himself that you’re incorrect then! While, what is important to notice is at the time of execution, one has executed a task with whatever clarity, dilemma, fears(of certainty or uncertainty), automatic behaviors, mood, wishes one has. It was, what it was and the best available option and hence it was executed. It would be helpful, if one sees the decisions/actions taken in that context in which the one was.
How about moving on with whatever the outcome the activity or the decision has given? This brings in a lot of attention to whats happening now and makes the journey a free flow than feeling like a drag.