An Apology – Am Sorry! Really?
Sending a plain apology doesn’t help much. It is important to know what is the action for which one is apologizing? What hurt the other person and caused the discomfort in him? Is the apology coming from the guilt voice or one is aware of the pain/sadness/discomfort/trouble that is caused in another.
Often, when we see the other crying, angry, sad, we apologize immediately. This may be out of one’s fear of the consequences, once guilt voice(oh! what did I do?) However, it may be completely irrelevant to the other. Also, when we we apologize without understanding, it holds every chance to repeat – either with the same person or other person. Or, one may get confused as what to do and not to do with the other person. Having a clarity helps us to not repeat such actions or customize these as per the context/person we are dealing with.
Similarly, when we are on the receiving end, we usually wash off an apology with an – “its okay”, “don’t worry” etc. But, as a receiver, does one really know why the apology is for? Does one know that the reason the other is apologizing is the same for which one is upset? We don’t bother to check. I amn’t advocating to not to say “Its okay” or “don’t worry”, but, do understand what’s coming in rather than being numb.
Same applies for “Thank you” and “You’re welcome”/”Its Okay”. Being present to why one is thanking an another and why an another is offering a thanking note would create a good bonding between the two.